Their eyes were fixed on the TV screen; keening in their seats, embarrassed and terrified, as a teary Halle Berry reached over to a reluctant Billy Bob Thornton and gyrated him to make her feel good. Her voice moved from the TV and reverberated the living room where Lawrence, his brothers and three sisters, mother, his grandmother and father sat through one of the most explicit sex scenes in movie history.

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“That scene from Monster’s Ball dragged on and on and on, - the longest three and half minutes of my life.” Lawrence narrates to me how his father could not take any more of the awkwardness, so he just picked up the remote and changed the channel without offering any explanation.

 

“The silence filtered the room and my mother quickly ordered us to clear the table and to go to do the dishes in the kitchen. I must have been thirteen or fourteen years then.”

 

Like most children, growing up in Zambia involved eating meals together and gathering around to watch movies as a family, especially action movies like Van Damme’s Double impact. The trouble was when a sex scene started, most would often wish for the ground to open and swallow them.

 

It is safe to guess that you cannot really know how long or how many sex scenes are in a movie until you watch it with family. Like how you do not know how many inappropriate words or jokes are in your favourite TV show or song until you are watching or listening to it in front of company.

 

But that is a story for another day.

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Sex and sexuality have always taken a back seat in Zambia, long considered a beacon of peace for maintaining stable politics and consistently fostering bloodless political regime changes. With 73 tribes across 10 provinces the southern African country boasts a pluralistic and progressive society that abhors discrimination based on race, tribe, religion or political affiliation.

 

However, at the end of 2019, two Zambian men were sentenced to 15 years of imprisonment for having sex ‘against the order of nature’, the legal term for homosexuality in Zambia. This single act led to a row between the Zambian government and the United States Ambassador, Daniel Foote, who described the sentencing as horrific and consequently had to be recalled from Zambia after President Edgar Lungu labelled him persona non grata

 

There has since been heated debate about LGBTIQA rights in Zambia with many saying gay rights were not only illegal but also against the country’s Christian values. In the preamble of Zambia’s Constitution, it says “we the people of Zambia acknowledge the supremacy of God Almighty, declare the Republic a Christian Nation while upholding a person’s right to freedom of conscience, belief or religion.” For many Zambians therefore homosexuality is not even up for discussion.

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President Lungu in an exclusive interview with Sky News on 2nd December, 2019, categorically asked foreign interests to let Zambians scrounge in their poverty before pushing a foreign agenda and tying LGBTIQA rights to aid and donor support.

 

One Zambia, One Nation

 

Zambia remains a conservative society that regards culture as critical to its future development. With regular interaction of ethnolinguistic groups, Zambia is guided by the motto of ‘One Zambia, One Nation’, as espoused by the founding president Dr Kenneth Kaunda. The motto implores people not to see themselves as individuals, tribes or clans but rather as a collective with a national identity.

 

Zambians are considerably obedient, disciplined, and polite with a profound respect for elders, especially traditional leaders, who apart from taking a leading role in governing society, are at the centre of moral discussion and decorum in Zambia. Kafue District Chiefs and Traditional Affairs Officer, Samuel Daka, contends that through their annual ceremonies and initiation rites chiefs ensure that “most of the knowledge and information in our country is grounded in our customs.”

 

Sex and the Traditional Ceremony

 

Ceremonies are undeniably the preferred platforms for reflecting and honouring traditional Zambian culture and its people. By displaying and discussing sex through symbolism and explicit songs, dances and demonstrations traditional ceremonies encourage knowledge transfer and sharing ideas on religion, morality, and sex.

 

In Mpongwe district in the Copperbelt region, her Royal Highness Chieftainess Malembeka uses the Kwilimuna ceremony to denounce adultery and fornication through her now popular phrase “buchende bulwele uwachita ubuchende alwala (Adultery is sickness. Commit adultery and get sick).”

The Nc’wala ceremony in Eastern province of the Ngoni tribe, the Likumbi Lya Mize and Lunda Lubanza ceremony in North Western Province for the Luvale and Lunda tribes, and the Umutomboko ceremony of the Lunda in Luapula Province are all platforms for information exchange.

 

The Right Initiation

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An identified group of elderly people known as ifimbusa (female counsellors) and Shibukombe (male counsellors) take note of young boys and girls that have come of age and teach them gender and moral lessons they apply in life. These people are cardinal in Zambian society as they are called upon again for guidance at premarital stage.

 

“The girls are taught traditional norms on how to handle a man as a husband, how to respect him both at home and in public or society in general. The boys are taught during initiation to be independent of their mothers and take responsibility as men both at home and society. Basically, sex education takes place during these ceremonies and shapes the rest of the lives of these young men and women in villages and chiefdoms,” Mr Samuel Daka said.

 

But when young people are provided an education on what counts as acceptable behaviour to navigate and negotiate their sexual lives, what does the media do?

 

Turning off the Camera in the Bedroom

 

While the media is ever present at these traditional ceremonies, particularly the national broadcaster Zambia National Broadcasting Corporation (ZNBC) television, their coverage mainly centres on politics. It is about which politician was present and what chief condemned or praised government during a speech? Or what policy was criticised or reassured?

 

By turning a blind eye, switching off their camera on the sex aspects of traditional ceremonies, the media essentially mystifies sex itself.

 

When Elephants are having sex in the room

 

While not much research on pre-colonial African sexuality exists, one thing is certain, sex remains a cornerstone of African society. So, lack of media coverage of sex education at traditional ceremonies means that for most Zambians, sex exists in a parallel spectrum. Something they might not talk about openly, and certainly a topic that is neatly tucked into the bedroom and ignored.

 

That there is awareness but not much dialogue on sex and sexuality, young people depend on their elders (but not their parents) like close aunties and uncles or senior members of the society who might not even be related to them.

 

When the Sex Scene Appears

 

Parents would rather turn off the channel and offer no explanation than use the opportunity to talk to their children about sex. Many grow up in families were mummy and daddy do not show affection for each other in front of them. Many are still fed the façade that mummy and daddy bought them a little brother or sister at the supermarket and they believed it, ignoring the obvious fact that mummy’s tummy had flattened after the trip to the supermarket.

 

That Zambian parents are mum about sex is deeply rooted in the culture, tradition, and history. Like how Zambia has faced challenges in implementing an effective Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) policy in schools, the same can be said about the issue of homosexuality and LGBTQIA rights.

 

Following her research on secondary school going children in Eastern province of Zambia, Zambian researcher, Zarina Khan asserts that “one of the reasons for the CSE policy ineffectiveness has been the conservatism of the Zambian society.”

 

“Traditionally these are very conservative societies with strong traditional values. They sort of stay away from the issue of sex and trying to address matters of sex with children. They avoid talking about it, and schools and classrooms that are supposed to discuss and deal with this, to create a bridging knowledge also do not deliver on this because teachers themselves come from this society. It creates a problem,” Ms Khan says.

 

Together with 21 other countries, Zambia signed ‘The Eastern and Southern African Ministerial Commitment on CSE and SRH services for adolescents and young people’ which shaped expansion and implementation of CSE across the region. The community members as stakeholders in the policy have opined on what exactly should be included in the curriculum and it is no surprise their emphasis has been placed on abstinence.

 

Zarina Khan adds that “In my research, I found that the teachers are embarrassed to talk about sex and will avoid certain topics on conception but place emphasis on abstinence. So, there isn’t a lot of information going out on issues of protection. The problem with placing emphasis on teaching abstinence is that it conflates theoretical effectiveness of intentions to remain abstinent and the actual practice of abstaining [..] I mean, the practice of abstaining as the numbers have shown, with the pregnancy and whatnot, it is not effective.”

 

According to (Zulu et al.,2019) “Customarily sexuality education was not supposed to be introduced to children in the lower grades. It should be introduced only during the initiation ceremony taking place later after girls attain puberty, and many teachers shared this understanding with the community and had difficulties discussing sexuality issues and using sexuality terminology particularly with the youngest learners.”

 

The Zambia Daily Mail article by Linda Nyondo on April 01, 2020 “Teachers Running Away from Sexuality Education” lends credence to this. The survey revealed that some teachers are refusing to teach CSE because they believe the subject to be inappropriate.

“The refusal by some teachers to teach pupils CSE in schools will have a negative effect on the fight against child marriages and teenage pregnancies,” Media Network on Child’s Rights and Development (MNCRD) executive director Henry Kabwe is quoted as saying in the survey.

 

What is Zambia’s deal with homosexuality?

 

Now 30 years old, with a five-year-old son, Lawrence Phiri harkens to that awkward Monster’s Ball sex scene with a learning lens. “I realise I have to do more with my son. I must use the medium to have healthy discussions with my family. In my home we are huge fans of The US series Empire and it has raised some intense discussions about sex and sexuality” Lawrence laughs.

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On 25th May, in commemoration of Africa Day, Zambian President Edgar Lungu in accordance with article 97 of the Constitution of the Republic of Zambia exercised his Prerogative of Mercy and pardoned 249 ordinary inmates. Two of the pardoned inmates were Stephen Sambo 31, and Japhet Chataba 39 who were sentenced to 15 years in prison by the Lusaka high court on 27 November 2019 for practising homosexuality.

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